If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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