There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
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Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
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I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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