Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
