i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
