I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
