trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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