I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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