He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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