my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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