just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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