would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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