Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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