I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I am full of burrito and curiosity
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
