I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Randomize
