ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
