I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
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