i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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