yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
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He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.