:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Boobs are out for the taking
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.