I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
