that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
