haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
should my penis look like a turkey
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
