Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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