Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
