I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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