used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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