just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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