maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
