some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
