I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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