its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
