absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Quick, to the slutcave!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
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Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
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I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize