Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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