"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
