i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
