I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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