Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
