They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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