There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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