his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
