proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
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in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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