the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
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we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
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You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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