I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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