She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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