just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
