3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
