found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
