"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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