Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
