I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
