Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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