I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize