My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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