Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
