just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
