and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
