bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
high people should be assigned attendants
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
