She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
